21.05.2025

Eve Harknett

Arriving in L'Arche Edinburgh last summer, I was welcomed with a bunch of flowers from David and a hug from Jonathan. When my mum was introduced, she immediately received a hug, too.

In the first few days, I learnt the Makaton (easy form of signed communication) for 'mum', 'dad' and the names and nicknames of each of the assistants and people with learning disabilities in the house. These quickly became my most used words. It helped me understand the significance of family life, and how L'Arche can be like a second family for many of us.

In one way, seeing L’Arche as family feels radical. Before joining L'Arche, I was aware that living alongside many people, especially with and without learning disabilities, is unusual. It challenges our individual ways of life. I was afraid of the vulnerability and possibility of taking on the emotions of other people. But learning to give all of me and share in the pain of people with learning disabilities and assistants makes sharing in their joy so much more astonishing and tangible.

In other ways, L’Arche being a family is completely usual. Living alongside the people I live and work with is 'being' together in everything. Some of my favourite times in the Skein house have been the moments where we are fully immersed in the present. When we are dancing in the kitchen to Kylie Minogue with Jonathan, Kirsty and I completing puzzles together, trying to ‘boo!’ the loudest at the dinner table. In the safety of these pauses there is no explicit transaction, no giving or receiving. Just learning how our presences speak to the people we find ourselves with.

Every day, I write down one thing which has brought me joy, a routine I started when I arrived at L'Arche, to anchor myself in gratitude on the good and the challenging days. The apprehension I held onto before my welcome wouldn’t believe how many of these are the happiness and fun I shared with others, in both the revolutionary and the ordinary.

Being present to every moment of people’s lives, and opening myself up to let them be present in mine has revealed the connection of common joys. The Skein and the wider community has become family for me. Despite the different lives we have journeyed along, we have found our footsteps side by side through celebrations, illness, death and changes.

The L'Arche Internship